It haunts me.
The question is at the root of all questions. Who am I ?
I am an Universal Citizen. From the realms of the unknown to the everyday world of the known, I am equally comfortable in all places and times. Be it the primordial soup of ancient earth or the sultry heat of Madras, I find solace in moving across time frames.
Sometimes I think I know, other times I think I do not know. Sometimes I think I see the vastness and grandeur of the universe and sometimes I think I can see the frenzied motions of the atoms.
Yet, the mind is mostly covered by a haze of uncertainity. Scriptures, novels, expereinces, visions, sruti - what good are all these if you do not know who are are? Because if you do not know who you are how can you even begin to think of knowing others leave alone God?
Millions of thoughts come in and leave my mind, yet some basic ideas repeat themsleves over and over again. How is one supposed to progress, if the covering does not go away?
"The covering does not go away. You have to take away the cover. Do not be surprised if you find another cover".
The voice tells this to me - a voice that is Me and again not Me. Becuase if it is Me, why does it not talk to me all the time?
Veil after veil - how much does one have to cross to reach the destination. But again, is there any such destination as the ancient Seers allude to?
Is it not possible to experience the sum total of all the experiences in the universe right here right now? Can it not be experienced again and again?
All expereince, all knowledge, all wisdom - they are but a tiny fraction of the Truth. But what is the Truth - neither Veda, nor Vedanga nor Vedanta have helped me. The potential of the Infinite is behind you, they say. I don't even know myself - how can I even begin to comprehend the Infinite? I can leap back and forth in time and space, but I am constrained. The 3 dimensions and 5 senses constrain my perceptions. On the brighter side, at least let me enjoy the constraints while they last.