Old Wine - Part 3
I have nothing to say ...
And I find that really surprising. Once upon a time my mind used to be abuzz with millions of thoughts. That was then; today my thoughts are like the rains in the desert - practically non-existent. Sometimes however there is a flash flood of thoughts - powerful, unpredictable and not usually productive - in fact more often than not destructive.
The supreme control which I used to exercise on myself is slowly fading away. I used to pride myself on my discipline, focus and razor-sharp analytical skills. My thoughts were a powerful tool - more so as I could channel them into a path of my choice; and discipline in all aspects of my life was the valve which controlled the intensity of it's flow.
At one point I was almost like the ideal person mentioned in our Old Texts - "sukhaduḥkhe same kṛtvā lābhālābhau jayājayau" - a person who remains unaffected by happiness or grief, a person who remains unaffected by victory and sorrow - in short one who remains focussed on his duty under all circumstances.
But things have changed since then - whereas once I had a well defined goal, now I am going along with the flow.
Time to set a new goal for myself.